ENTRY 0008, DECEMBER 15, 2003
Well, we caught Saddam. He was hiding in a "spider hole" when he
was discovered. It was just a little place underground,
reinforced with concrete and boards. He was basically sealed in
from the outside, so the opening could be camouflaged. Pretty
sneaky. Unfortunately for him, it did not work. It kind of
makes you wonder if he has done this before in other places, and we
The Resident went on and on, sounding like some slack-jawed, booger
eating moron. "We caught you and you was down a hole!" Bush
seems to forget the North Vietnamese once used holes in the ground to
great effect. And that thousands of holes were constructed in the
United States in the '50s. We called them 'Fallout Shelters".
Anyway, everybody is going nuts over the capture. I'm kinda
surprised, because Resident Bush never really did say, before the war,
that getting Saddam was one of our goals. Removing him from
power, yes, but Bush never specifically mentioned capturing
Saddam. Of course, he probably learned his lesson when he swore
to capture Osama Bin Laden. As I recall, the main goal was
finding weapons of mass destruction. we have had control of the
country for some months now, and have not found anything. Not a
single vial of Anthrax (The US has thousands of those) , not a single
ingot of Plutonium (the US has thousands of those, too), not one shell
loaded with wet-eye nerve gas. (guess who has thousands of these,
So, we will see what comes of this. My guess he will either be
thrown to the wolves, shipped off to be Noriega's roommate, or "Shot
While Trying To Escape."
Anyway, on a lighter note I have discovered some wisdom this week,
which I would like to share with you...
From Phil Proctor:
THE 12 RULES OF LIFE
need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and
it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct
2. Never pass up the opportunity to pee.
3. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
4. Everybody seems normal until you get to know him or her.
5. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! Youv'e got
6. If somebody says you are too good for him or her - believe it.
7. Pick your battles: Will this matter a year from now? A
month? A week? A day?
8. When you make a mistake, fess up immediately. Crow
tastes better warm.
9. The most essential words for a healthy relationship are "I
appologize" and "Your'e right."
10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable
because a former relationship just might mean that the other person was
right about you.
11. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you.
Statistics show most people don't live to spend all the money they
saved; many die even before they retire.
12. And finally... Be good to your family and friends.
You'll need them to empty your bedpan.
Paul Emmons of West Chester University had this to say regarding
the installation of a gay Bishop in the Episcopal Church:
"The consecration of Gene Robinson as Bishop of the
New Hampshire Diocese of the Episcopal Church is an affront to
Christians everywhere. I am just thankful that the church's
founder, Henry VIII, and his wife Catherine of Aragon, and his wife
Anne Boleyn, and his wife Jane Seymour, and his wife Anne of Cleves,
and his wife Katherine Howard, and his wife Catherine Parr are no
longer here to suffer through this assault on traditional Christian
Anyway, what's new this week?
-Sheila got the crud that's going around. She was not her usual,
perky self. She is recovering, however.
-So far, I have avoided this same crud.
-School gets out for winter break on friday, which means the kids have,
for the most part, shut their brains down and are not interested in
learning. They are already in vacation mode.
-I got back to carving some erasers. I have made half a
dozen or so over the past few days. I will be posting some of my
creations over the next few weeks, once I get them stamped and
-Lockheed has not gotten back to me about accessing their land south of
Beaumont. I will write more about this later on. Suffice
it to say that the land used to be used to test rocket engines,
and there are still some cool remnants from back then scattered here
and there. There should be some amazing wildlife there, seeing as
how it has been basically unused for 20+ years and covers about 9,000
acres. I saw a Golden Eagle fly into the land last spring,
and chased it a bit farther than I should have. My brief sojourn
into forbidden territory is chronicled here.
Well, I gotta run.