ENTRY 0008, DECEMBER 15, 2003

Well, we caught Saddam.  He was hiding in a "spider hole" when he was discovered.  It was just a little place underground, reinforced with concrete and boards.  He was basically sealed in from the outside, so the opening could be camouflaged.  Pretty sneaky.  Unfortunately for him, it did not work.  It kind of makes you wonder if he has done this before in other places, and we missed it.

The Resident went on and on, sounding like some slack-jawed, booger eating moron.  "We caught you and you was down a hole!"  Bush seems to forget the North Vietnamese once used holes in the ground to great effect.  And that thousands of holes were constructed in the United States in the '50s.  We called them 'Fallout Shelters".

Anyway, everybody is going nuts over the capture.  I'm kinda surprised, because Resident Bush never really did say, before the war, that getting Saddam was one of our goals.  Removing him from power, yes, but Bush never specifically mentioned capturing Saddam.  Of course, he probably learned his lesson when he swore to capture Osama Bin Laden.  As I recall, the main goal was finding weapons of mass destruction.  we have had control of the country for some months now, and have not found anything.  Not a single vial of Anthrax (The US has thousands of those) , not a single ingot of Plutonium (the US has thousands of those, too), not one shell loaded with wet-eye nerve gas.  (guess who has thousands of these, as well???)

So, we will see what comes of this.  My guess he will either be thrown to the wolves, shipped off to be Noriega's roommate, or "Shot While Trying To Escape."

Anyway, on a lighter note I have discovered some wisdom this week, which I would like to share with you...

From Phil Proctor:


1. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.  If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.  If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

2. Never pass up the opportunity to pee.

3. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

4. Everybody seems normal until you get to know him or her.

5.  If you woke up breathing, congratulations!  Youv'e got another chance.

6. If somebody says you are too good for him or her - believe it.

7. Pick your battles:  Will this matter a year from now?  A month? A week?  A day?

8.  When you make a mistake, fess up immediately.  Crow tastes better warm.

9.  The most essential words for a healthy relationship are "I appologize" and "Your'e right."

10.  Living well really is the best revenge.  Being miserable because a former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you. 

11.  Money is nice, but you can't take it with you.  Statistics show most people don't live to spend all the money they saved; many die even before they retire.

12. And finally...  Be good to your family and friends.  You'll need them to empty your bedpan.

Paul Emmons of West Chester University had this to say regarding the installation of a gay Bishop in the Episcopal Church:

    "The consecration of Gene Robinson as Bishop of the New Hampshire Diocese of the Episcopal Church is an affront to Christians everywhere.  I am just thankful that the church's founder, Henry VIII, and his wife Catherine of Aragon, and his wife Anne Boleyn, and his wife Jane Seymour, and his wife Anne of Cleves, and his wife Katherine Howard, and his wife Catherine Parr are no longer here to suffer through this assault on traditional Christian marriage."

Anyway, what's new this week?

-Sheila got the crud that's going around.  She was not her usual, perky self.  She is recovering, however.

-So far, I have avoided this same crud.

-School gets out for winter break on friday, which means the kids have, for the most part, shut their brains down and are not interested in learning.  They are already in vacation mode. 

-I got back to carving some erasers.  I have made half a dozen or so over the past few days.  I will be posting some of my creations over the next few weeks, once I get them stamped and scanned. 

-Lockheed has not gotten back to me about accessing their land south of Beaumont.  I will write more about this later on.  Suffice it  to say that the land used to be used to test rocket engines, and there are still some cool remnants from back then scattered here and there.  There should be some amazing wildlife there, seeing as how it has been basically unused for 20+ years and covers about 9,000 acres.  I saw a Golden Eagle fly into the land  last spring, and chased it a bit farther than I should have.  My brief sojourn into forbidden territory is chronicled here.

Well, I gotta run.

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